Celebrity Crushes

Happy Valentine’s Day, you beautiful people! (I’m sure you’re reading this a week or more afterwards, so I imagine it was a good one) I hope you took the opportunity to show someone how much you care about them, or had a romantic evening with your significant other. For the rest of us, the only outlet for our hopeless romanticism are one-sided crushes. The warm fuzzies of infatuation for someone you have never and will never meet, without all the work of developing a real relationship. These five lovely ladies encapsulate over a decade of bubbling feelings and I can’t help but go red thinking about them.

There’s almost no chance most of you have ever seen Ashly Burch, but you may have heard her. Ashly has made a considerable name for herself as a professional voice actress – particularly in American localizations of video games and anime. Her roles include outcast high schooler Chloe Price from “Life is Strange”, the airheaded childhood best friend Mayuri Shiina in one of favorite shows “Steins;Gate”, and the protagonist of the critically acclaimed “Horizon: Zero Dawn”, Aloy. But I first discovered Ashly from her original sketch show on GameTrailers, “Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’?” a series of wacky shorts where Ash would act out video games to annoy her brother. It’s what inspired my own “Whatcha Playin” segement on this very blog. Regardless, I’ve loved Ashly’s performances over the years and her interviews and candid videos reveal that she’s insanely witty and creative as well as cute as a button!

There’s not a lot I can really say. I just think Jessica Alba is really attractive. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in anything, I honestly just thought she was like a super model or something when I was a teenager. My buddy Alex kept a centerfold of her on the beach in his binder all through seventh grade and one time our choir teacher called us out for looking at it in class. I think she tried to confiscate it because it was too risque, but somehow Alex talked his way out of it. It was a really hot picture. Jessica Alba still has one of the best smiles, what a peach.

Oh yeah, here we go, I’ve got strong feelings for Olivia Munn. Back in the G4 era (yeah, remember that channel?) Olivia was one of the hosts of “Attack of the Show” a video-game/geek news channel or something, kind of a precursor of “The Soup”, I can’t really remember. But watching Olivia was really the only reason I tuned in. Not only did they often get her to wear sexy cosplay and do interviews and weird stunts, but she was actually really funny and held her own as this sort of badass no-nonsense tough chick. The added juxtaposition of hots girls and video games did a number on my adolescent brain, from which I’ve clearly never recovered.

Speaking of nerd chic, Yvonne Strahovski is basically only on my radar because of how much I adore her on “Chuck” (and guess what, Olivia Munn was a character on Chuck once too! Man that show is so great). Yvonne is the perfect combo of strong and seductive, while also being the girl-next-door. She gives off such a warm, friendly personality with that infectious toothy grin. And “Mama Zetta!” Agent Sarah Walker has a commanding presence on the show. Whether she’s kickin butt, drivin choppers through windows or wearin that skimpy little “Weinerlicious” fast food number. She’s so great I named my PC after her!

And while this list was in no particular order, special shout out to my OG celeb crush, Hermione Granger – of course, not entirely until the Yule Ball scene in “Goblet of Fire”. That film happened to coincide with my awkward teenage love life and that’s why films 4 and 6 are still two of my favorites in the franchise – for their emphasis on romantic drama. Emma Watson is a bit of an underrated beauty in my humble opinion. She’s quite young and petite, but has a piercing, intelligent gaze that I find very alluring. She also seems rather cool and approachable and entertaining to chat with, as opposed to the blubbering mess I’d be if I ever met Olivia Munn.

Well, thanks for indulging this lonely heart on Valentine’s Day. Feel free to name some of your own celeb crushes below – I know you all have one.

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