You know what’s more annoying than someone telling you about all their “New Year’s Resolutions”? The discourse and people complaining about how resolutions are dumb and never stick and completely arbitrary. So suck it up, cause some of us take these things seriously!

Now, historically, resolutions were a source of guilt and shame when after a month I had already failed to keep up with some insane schedule or habit. Even more lenient goals like cutting back on sweets or exercising more prove to be ineffective resolutions on their own. These days, resolutions are like a time capsule – a snapshot of my priorities and how they’ve shifted positively or negatively over the course of a year. This is really the only metric I use to determine whether or not I was quote-unquote “successful” with my resolutions.

For example my 2018 Resolutions – tweeted exactly one year ago – show to me that I had very little on my plate: I was going to kick things off with getting a massive head-start on my AniMay18 content by watching and writing 5 months in advance. This one clearly fell through, cause I didn’t actually start making progress until around 2 weeks before May and it was a daily scramble to reach the finish line – but I made it and AniMay18 was a smash success, so I’ll take it! Those videos were my number one priority all year.

Next was updating my half-hearted Let’s Play channel, JanitorPlays, a failed experiment that launched alongside my main channel in late 2016. To this day I’ve only commentated on horror games that I either dislike or am terrible at and was looking forward to tackling games I enjoyed and was deeply familiar with so I could make more engaging commentary. I even had hopes to rekindle my podcast ideas and start a series of Let’s Plays starring my dad where I could walk him through weird games that we could discuss. I had basically come to terms with after two years of living at my parents that I should just make the most of it and put more resources into making video content. Although that channel was basically dead on arrival, it’s telling that I wanted to challenge myself to be a little more prolific on Youtube in 2018.

And finally, my least committal resolution was “Seriously look into moving to Portland”. How wishy-washy is that? Now, by that point, my sister and her husband had had about a year of trying to convince me to move down near them. I liked the prospect, but was comfortable with my job and my expenses and the amount of free time I had to pursue my hobbies. Moving out just meant spending more money to basically be doing what I do at home for free – meals, rent, utilities, etc. Plus where was I gonna live? What kinds of jobs could I get? How would I get around? Who would I be friends with? To be fair, most of these questions have yet to be answered in the past three months, but I did it, I’m here, and now is the time to make the most of it!

So 2019, where do we stand? The most pressing issue (not even really a resolution, but a necessity) is finding a job or career that allows me to stay in the Portland area. Obviously I’m holding out hope that it can also be something fulfilling and/or exciting, but in 2019 subsistence is the goal. As much as I loved being with the folks for the holidays, that town was never my home and I have no desire to ever live there again. If it means taking a bus to work full-time at Wendy’s, so be it, but I’m gonna try to stick my roots in here and see what happens.

Next up, in my pursuit of practicing some more healthy “adulting”, in 2019 I wanna get over my fear of cooking for myself. More like intimidation or laziness, but not feeling daunted by the concept of preparing meals with actual ingredients and dishes to wash would be helpful. Hopefully this can broaden my diet away from only processed foods or kiddie meals like Spaghetti Os and mini corn dogs everyday. Perhaps it’ll become a skill to give back to my friends, small group, or potential partner, but it just feels like something I gotta get around to eventually, so why not now?

And finally, I want to keep this blog healthy and alive. This one’s just for myself, and it kind of goes against my rule of habit-based resolutions – cause I intend to make it a daily practice. Not only do I like the idea of having a platform (however small) to voice my opinions about literally anything, but it’s a chance to build positive writing habits and loosen my chops to become more consistent with bigger projects. I’d love to make AniMay19 even better than before, and sprinkle more experimental videos throughout the year. I’d like to write and illustrate another children’s book, maybe even get back into graphic novels – who knows. I’ve also got a lot of self-improvement books and resources that I’m committed to and this site could incentivize me to work through those thoughts publicly.

Whatever 2019 may bring, I think it has the potential to be the biggest year of my life. Those 2018 training wheels are off and it’s time to truly test my mettle. Who knows, by this time next year I could have a new career, or my videos might really take off, or I get myself a girlfriend – the sky’s the limit! Just as likely I could be totally treading water again or end up even worse for wear, but the new year is a chance to gain some much needed clarity and focus. I hope 2019 treats you well and we can cheer each other on, cause I’ve got a good feeling about the next 365 days!